A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts

    Have you ever been shopping in the produce section of the store and been enticed by the exotic appeal of a coconut? Have you ever purchased said coconut and the only idea you had for using it is to cut it in half and use it to make horsey clop-clop sounds while singing "I have a lovely bunch of coconuts"? If this is any where close to a real life scenario, you are in luck! Recently, I have had the challenge of figuring out the other uses of a coconut.

   It is not easy harvesting the delicious meat of a coconut, but at the end of the day, you have a feeling of accomplishment and some coconut meat and milk that is 100% additive free. Here are some step by step instructions to get more out of your coconut than some mildly hilarious  entertainment.You will need the following items for the next couple of steps:

•  a large bowl
•  a thick bladed, heavy knife
•  a short, thin bladed knife that is kind of flexible blade
•  a blender or food processor
• cheese cloth or other natural fibre cloth like a nut bag (I use cheese cloth)
• and oh yeah, a coconut )
• a cookie sheet and jar or glass for the coconut milk might also come in handy

1. Picking the right coconut. You want to pick a coconut that is lighter in colour. The darker the coconut, the older it is, the younger the coconut, the better the flavour. Check to make sure there are not any external cracks or wet spots on the coconut, if you see these, your coconut could be compromised, don't buy it! You need to shake the coconut to make sure there is plenty of coconut water inside, this is kind of a must have for making coconut milk (you can make coconut milk without it, but the taste is superior if you can use it).

2. Locate the eyes on your coconut. There should be three indentations on it, one is softer. the softer one is where the stem was once attached. Some people like to take a drill bit and drill into the coconut and drain the water. (You can do this, but I think it is unnecessary). I think of the soft indention as the nose and the two parallel indention as the eyes. Holding Mr.Coconut over the large bowl, use the back, flat end of your heavy knife, whack Mr.Coconut squarely between the eyes. If you get mixed up, or really can't tell what is eyes and what is not, don't worry, just whack anyways. Your coconut will start to crack. and liquid will start to leak out. The liquid is coconut water and is very tasty. Collect as much of this in your bowl as possible. Rotate and give the coconut a good whack along the crack you have created until your coconut is opened enough to pull apart. Did I mention you might not want to try this after putting the kiddos to bed or down for a nap? It is kind of loud.

3. Using the smaller, thinner bladed knife, pry the coconut meat from the shell. The coconut is round and the blade is flat, that is why you want it to be flexible, so it kind of curves with the shell. Be very careful to not a) break your blade or b) stab your hand >cough, cough<. I have found that giving the knife a little wiggle will help release the meat from the shell. You will notice that some of the brown membrane of the coconut sticks to the coconut meat. There are two schools of thought on what to do about this. Some people say that it is good for you and to leave it on and others say to peel it off. I leave it on but peel off the thicker parts that look like they would be hard to bite into.

4. Shred your coconut. you can do this with a grater, or a food processor using the shredding attachment. I do this in my food processor with the grating attachment but it comes out a little rough. If you have your heart set on beautiful coconut flakes that you can buy in the store, I recommend using a hand grater You want to combine the coconut water with the coconut meat, bit by bit. If you didn't collect enough coconut water to maintain a good pulse, you can add regular water. Keep adding water and coconut meat and pulsing until you have a nice, chunky puree

5. Pour the coconut puree mixture into a bowl and, using the cheese cloth, start straining the mixture into a bowl or desired storage container. The way you do this is by placing handfuls of the puree into the cheese cloth and then squeezing out as much of the mixture as possible into the container. You will have a bunch of coconut meat left in the cheese cloth. Put this onto the cookie sheet, and continue to process the the coconut puree through the cheesecloth. Let the coconut meat dry out on the cookie sheet.

6. Now you have fresh coconut milk and some shredded, unsweetened coconut!

I like to use the coconut in just about any curry dish. The coconut meat can be used as you would store bought unsweetened coconut flakes, or if you have bigger chunks, as nuts in most any recipe for a light, nutty flavour.